For The Girl Who is tired of being miserable...

Do you know how exhausting it is to be so constantly stressing over every single tiny problem in your life?

I have zero healthy coping mechanisms. I have no idea how to deal with the problems that I face. I have no ability to feel my feelings and let them go. I get in my head, I hold on to my feelings, I let them fester. I let them grow from a tiny, insignificant issue, to an insurmountable problem with no possible way to overcome.

I’m exhausted in ways that I feel are detrimental to my health. I wake up every morning feeling like I haven’t slept at all, because my brain has kept me up all night long replaying my problems like a bad movie on a loop in a cheap theater. Throughout my day I’m constantly waiting for what can go wrong. Every text I receive, I expect bad news. Every phone call I get, I’m waiting to be met with grief or fear or anger on the other end. I’m tired of holding frozen spoons to my eyes every morning to remove the bags that have formed from spending the previous day crying.  I’m constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m pushing away people I love, I’m not allowing myself to receive love because everyone always leaves so why wouldn’t these people leave too?

It’s fucking ridiculous.

(and then I’ve got to flip it around on myself)

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Do you even KNOW how much you have to be grateful for? Quit living in your lavish home of self pity of which the walls are painted with every bad word everyone has ever said to you. Tear out the floorboards of your discontent, break the windows of your fears, rip out the drywall that holds your defects so tight the wood is cracked and splintering from the pressure.

You wake up afraid, you go to work afraid, you get home afraid, you eat dinner afraid. You live in a constant state of fear. But every night when you go to bed, you feel in your bones that everything is going to be okay. Why are you doing this to yourself? Where is your trust, your faith? Stop allowing these incessant thoughts to ruin your days and suck the happiness out of your life. The only person in control of your emotions is YOU. Start taking control.

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At the end of it all…

Bad days are okay. They’re normal. Healthy, even. But if every day is bad, if every event feels like a chore, if you have to gag down every meal, if you have to suffer through every conversation, something is wrong. Do something about it. Stop living your life afraid and fucking do something about it.